Colorado University Athletics
Hagan To Run Saturday As Part Of Ralphie Challenge
September 26, 2015 | Football
BOULDER - It's been almost five years now since the unthinkable happened for Darian Hagan.
Hagan, then a coach for the Colorado football team, was returning from a recruiting trip early on a Sunday morning in December when, "My phone started to blow up. I was getting all these messages on Facebook saying, 'condolences.'"
That's how Hagan found out that his son, 19-year-old DeVaughn, a football player at Garden City Community College in Kansas, had committed suicide.
"I couldn't believe it," Hagan said. "I just couldn't see how it could be true. He was a kid with a strong personality, just like me, a kid who you thought could handle anything."
Since then, Hagan has played the months before DeVaughn's death over and over in his mind, asking what ' if anything ' he could have done to prevent the tragedy.
But along with asking "Why?" Hagan has also started asking "How?" ' as in how he can possibly prevent other families from suffering through a similar tragedy. It's why he speaks to suicide prevention groups whenever asked, why he lends a hand when possible ' and why he'll be running out on Folsom Field with the Buffs on Saturday, traveling the same route he traveled so many times as a player and coach.
Hagan, who led the Buffs on their national championship run in 1990 as the quarterback, will run with the Buffs as part of the Ralphie Challenge, a nonprofit benefit event for the Colorado Mental Wellness Network/A Day for Grace in Longmont. Also as part of the event, former CU fullback and current opera singer Keith Miller will sing the CU alma mater before the game.
Hagan, now director of player development for the CU football team, has learned volumes since DeVaughn's death. He's studied statistics ' for instance, Colorado has one of the highest suicide rates in the nation, with 16.7 per 100,000 people ' and he's studied the stories behind suicide.
"Suicide is the big elephant in the room," Hagan said. "Nobody wants to talk about it. It's an unspoken rule. It's taboo, and that's wrong. It's something that needs to be talked about so it doesn't happen so often."
In particular, Hagan said, men are extremely hesitant to talk about the subject.
"Men don't want to say they have a soft side, that they need to be counseled, talked to, held, hugged," Hagan said. "That's why this has been important to me, to help me come out of their shells and talk about it. When people ask me to speak, I jump at the opportunity. What I've been through, I don't want anybody else to have to experience that if it's possible."
Hagan will wear a CU jersey with the No. 24 on the back, along with the name "Levy-Hagan." His son, who had always gone by the name DeVaughn Levy, had asked a short time before his death to add "Hagan" to his last name ' and he had always expressed a desire to someday play for the Buffs and wear No. 24.
"A Day With Grace" is a play written by Doug Vincent, who also stars in the show, along with roots rock star Sam Llanas (formerly of the BoDeans). The show, which has played around the nation, has a Nov. 14 date in Longmont.
"Being a part of A Day With Grace, I've talked to survivors and opened up about my son's death," Hagan said. "It's helped ease my mind and open up my heart, and it's helped me be much more compassionate with people."
To a degree, it's also changed how Hagan deals with young people.
"Now I think about whatever I'm going to say and how I'm going to approach it," Hagan said. "I don't want a kid leaving my office and feeling like his world just crashed, that there's nothing else he can accomplish ' that he's going to end it all. I don't ever want someone to think they don't have anything to live for."
More information on A Day With Grace.
